"What I Learned About Telling the Truth" by our Founder

I want to share something that's shaped how I see the world and how we work at Charly.

Humanity has achieved amazing things through truth: medicine, space exploration, technology. All built on rigorous fact-checking and commitment to reality.

Ray Dalio figured out this can apply to business too. He built one of the world's most successful hedge funds on what he calls "radical truth and radical transparency." His insight: when everyone commits to truth, the best ideas win, not the most popular or comfortable ones, but the ones that actually match reality. The problem? Truth is hard. Really hard.It's often inconvenient. You trade approval for clarity. You face things you'd rather ignore: your limitations, your blind spots, the everyday cultural BS we all swim in.That's why most people don't do it.

But here's what I've learned: Once you start, honesty gives you energy back. It builds trust faster. It cuts through noise. And arguably, it elevates us spiritually. This article is a summary of the key things I've learned about truth telling and I want to share it with you in the hopes of creating... yes, get ready... a better world.

My Story

I grew up in Mexico, where directness is often seen as rude. You soften your words to avoid tension, to keep things smooth. It's not unique to Mexico; many cultures operate this way.

That was normal until I spent time with one of my closest friends from New York at 27. His baseline was different. He was direct, clear, and unapologetic when it mattered. Sometimes it hurt. Most times, he was tactful, but when I asked him about my life, he gave me a straightforward answer.

This reassurance I got from him became addictive. That friendship sparked my curiosity to understand why honesty works.

What I’ve Learned from Others

Over the years, I have learned from authors who taught me how honesty can be pragmatic yet still be humane.

Charlie Houpert

The first step on my journey to really study honesty was Charlie Houpert, the founder of Charisma on Command. What follows is a rundown of the key highlights 

1.⁠ ⁠Most lies are for convenience, not necessity

Houpert points out that the overwhelming majority of lies are not about survival or protecting someone from harm. They’re about convenience. We lie to avoid discomfort, dodge short-term consequences, or make ourselves look better. A “white lie” like “I’m on my way” when you’re still getting ready might seem harmless, but it’s really just a shortcut. The truth is harder — it risks annoyance or judgment — but it doesn’t pile up hidden costs.

2.⁠ ⁠Lies build hidden debts

Houpert explains that lies create a gap between what people expect (because they believed the lie) and what’s actually true. That gap is like debt. The longer you carry it, the heavier it becomes, and eventually, the correction hurts much more than if the truth had been spoken from the start.

3.⁠ ⁠Dishonesty erodes self-esteem

One of Houpert’s strongest points is that “self-esteem is your reputation with yourself.” When you lie, you know you’re not living in line with your own values. Even if no one else finds out, you do. That misalignment chips away at confidence. Conversely, when you practice honesty, even in uncomfortable moments, you reinforce trust with yourself — and that creates strength, energy, and resilience.

4.⁠ ⁠Honesty forces growth

Lying often acts as a shield from discomfort. You avoid admitting mistakes, limitations, or struggles. But when you commit to honesty, you lose that escape route. You have to face reality. That discomfort pushes growth: you get better at handling challenges, more accountable to your commitments, and more resilient when things don’t go your way.

5.⁠ ⁠Honesty is respect

Houpert also stresses that honesty is a form of respect. Most of us would rather people told us the truth, even if it stings a little, because it gives us the dignity of making informed decisions. If you’d want honesty from others, then offering it to them is the same courtesy.

6.⁠ ⁠Trust requires truth

Every relationship, personal or professional, is built on trust. Lies corrode that foundation. Even small, well-intentioned lies create suspicion once they’re discovered. Over time, dishonesty hollows out bonds. Honesty, by contrast, grounds relationships in reality, so people know where they stand. That creates durability and depth.

Brené Brown

Brené Brown is an acclaimed author and researcher on vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. Brene says trust can't exist without honesty, and honesty can't exist without vulnerability.

But here's her critical distinction: vulnerability is not disclosing everything to everyone. That's actually a misuse of vulnerability that damages relationships.

Brown describes a feedback loop between trust and vulnerability. You share a little. If that's met with respect, trust builds. Then you can share more. Trust and vulnerability grow together, in proportion to each other. But sharing without earned trust isn't vulnerability, it's often a cry for connection that backfires.

This means honesty requires judgment. Not everyone deserves your full story. Not every moment calls for total transparency. The goal isn't to be an open book, it's to be honest in ways that build trust with people who've earned it.

Her research shows that trust grows in small, consistent truths: keeping promises, admitting mistakes, saying the uncomfortable thing because it matters. These moments compound over time.

She also shows that shame grows in silence. When we hide things, shame thrives. When we bring them into the light with the right people, in the right context, shame shrinks.

 Here are some additional key insights from her research:

1.⁠ ⁠Vulnerability is courage, not weakness

Brown’s most famous point is that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of strength. To show up honestly — to admit you don’t know, to acknowledge fear, to apologize, or to ask for help — takes far more courage than hiding behind perfection or control.

2.⁠ ⁠Shame thrives on silence and lies

Brown often highlights how shame grows when we hide parts of ourselves. Lies — especially those told to cover mistakes, failures, or imperfections — feed shame. Honesty, by contrast, shrinks shame because it brings hidden things into the light. Naming our struggles truthfully breaks their hold.

4.⁠ ⁠Connection requires being seen

For Brown, connection is only possible when people allow themselves to be truly seen. Lies, masks, and omissions create barriers. Vulnerability — saying “this is who I am, flaws and all” — invites real connection. It’s risky, because it might be rejected, but it’s the only path to authentic belonging.

4.⁠ ⁠Wholehearted living

Brown uses the term “wholehearted” to describe people who embrace imperfection and live with authenticity. Honesty is central to this: when you stop pretending, you free yourself to live with more joy, resilience, and creativity. 

M. Scott Peck

M. Scott Peck wrote The Road Less Traveled in 1978. It's a book about psychology and spiritual growth that sold millions of copies because it told people hard truths they needed to hear. One of those truths: most people avoid reality, and that avoidance destroys them.

Peck's insight is that most people know what's true but spend years making excuses and justifying their choices. They negotiate with reality instead of accepting it. The biggest waste, he argues, is pretending. Pretending someone is performing well when they're not. Pretending a relationship works when it doesn't. Pretending you're trying hard when you're coasting. When you stop pretending, you stop wasting energy on managing illusions.

He warns that you'll be afraid at first. You'll worry about hurting people or losing them. But here's what actually happens: you lose the people who weren't aligned with you anyway. The real ones stay and respect you more.

Peck points out that clear people are rare. When you stop the pretense, people notice. They trust it. That's what creates leadership.

For Peck, truth isn't about being brutal. It's about being honest enough to say what actually helps, even when it's uncomfortable.

Living this way simplifies everything. You say no when you mean no. You leave what drains you. You stop tolerating misalignment. You build a life that actually matches what you value.

This path requires self-awareness, accountability, and courage. Peck knew most people won't do it. 

Truth doesn't make you perfect, Peck writes. It makes you aligned. And that alignment builds over time into real power.

The Surprising Gift of Energy (My personal take) 

When I started applying Houpert’s idea of choosing not to lie, I noticed something unexpected: I felt lighter. It was not immediate, but slowly I felt more focused and motivated. I realized that even small, everyday dishonesty had been quietly draining me.

By most standards, I was already honest. But the truth is that what most people call “normal” levels of honesty still carry a hidden cost.

For me, it feels like a kind of lightness, almost like a quiet joy. I really hope more people can get to experience that feeling

What Honesty Means for Our Clients

We are good at what we do because we start with reality.

When clients come to us, we give them clarity. People do not have time to decode vague messages or confusing user experiences. They want to know exactly how a product helps them. That is why we use messaging frameworks like StoryBrand as it forces us to define who it is for, what problem it solves, and how it makes life better.

Specificity is honesty. When a brand tries to speak to everyone, it ends up speaking to no one. When it is specific, people recognize themselves in it. That recognition builds trust faster, and when trust builds faster, sales cycles shorten.

We also encourage clients to take responsibility for objections instead of trying to spin them away. If your audience has doubts, name them. Then show how you address them. That is how credibility grows.

That same commitment to accountability is why our client satisfaction has remained consistently high. It is the quiet power of transparency.

Living Into Our Values at Charly

Most dishonesty is not about protecting others. It is about protecting ourselves from judgment, discomfort, or looking bad. We soften feedback to avoid conflict. We explain away mistakes. We say yes when we want to say no because we fear disappointing people.

The problem is how quickly this spreads. Ron Carucci’s research in To Be Honest shows that small compromises normalize bigger ones. “Just this once” becomes a habit. One person avoids a hard truth, and suddenly others feel they should do the same.

It rarely looks dramatic. A missed deadline is excused instead of examined. Feedback is watered down until it means nothing. Problems are reframed instead of resolved. Each small moment seems harmless, but together they create a pattern that blinds an organization to what is really happening.

The cost is enormous. Decisions slow down. Problems fester. Energy is wasted managing appearances instead of solving what matters. In a digital, remote-first company, this may be even more imperative. Without hallway conversations to clear the air, misunderstandings multiply.

That is why honesty is not just a nice value. It's a radically important goal for operational efficiency. 

Many companies say they value honesty. The real test comes when honesty costs something, like when a client relationship might be at risk, or when admitting a mistake feels uncomfortable.

I think honesty is also contagious and in that since it's one of our competitive advantages. As it's still a small team and I am able to have relationships with everyone involved and align on values in conversations. 

However, for me, this is early work. I'm developing Operational Standard Procedures to support this, and from what I'm learning, it's a process that will take my team and me through next year and beyond to refine.

One of my key lessons is again from Brené Brown. She has a framework she calls "rumbling with vulnerability." It means staying open and curious even when the outcome is uncertain. It means assuming good intent, asking questions instead of making assumptions, and having the courage to say, "I don't know, but I'll find out."

Brown also points out that we all wear armor: perfectionism, control, detachment. These habits protect us from vulnerability, but they also keep us from real connection. Honesty means learning to take that armor off, a little at a time.

It looks like these practices aren't something we master once. It's a daily practice of noticing when you want to hide, defend, or spin things, and choosing to stay open instead.

Good intentions aren’t all that good 

One of the hardest lessons I've learned in business has been about the gap between good intentions and clear commitments. I used to think they were the same thing. They're not.

Part of that means being more careful with language. Consider these three statements:

• "I'll work on the weekend."
• "I'll try to have it by Monday."

They all sound responsible, and they come from a good place, but they're not explicit commitments. They're intentions. And while they feel reassuring and show goodwill, they often create confusion and drag, a feeling we're all way too familiar with.

Good intentions help us avoid tension but eventually, the truth catches up. When Monday arrives and the work isn't done, it's not just about the missed deadline—it's about the gap between what was expected and what was delivered.

I've come to appreciate hearing "I can't make Monday, but I can get it to you Wednesday" far more than an optimistic maybe. A clear answer—even if it's not the one we hoped for—helps us plan and move forward together. Each time we do this, we strengthen trust—with each other, with clients, and with ourselves. It's what allows us to work well together and deliver our best work.

It starts with Self Awareness

Claimed author Mark Manson often writes that honesty has a ripple effect, and I have seen it myself. When you are honest with yourself, you become more honest with others. When you are honest with others, they begin to be more honest with themselves. It is a quiet cycle that lifts everyone around you.

It begins inside. When you ask yourself, “Am I really proud of this design?” or “Is this actually good enough?” you are facing reality. That moment of clarity can be uncomfortable, but it is the first step toward growth.

That clearer vision makes the work better. When you can see what is working and what is not, you make better choices. You stop settling for average and start reaching for what is true.

And when you do that, you influence others. When we tell a client, “This direction is not working,” models courage and self-awareness. It shows them that it is safe to be real. They, in turn, start asking better questions about what truly serves their customers. Teammates start admitting where they need help instead of hiding their gaps.

Each person’s growth starts to reinforce everyone else’s. It is a culture of honest improvement, built one moment at a time.

Honesty is hard but so is dishonesty

Everything is hard. Honesty is hard. Dishonesty is hard. Getting in shape is hard. Not getting in shape is hard.

The question is: which hard things do you want?

I built Charly without investors, without funding, and without the perfect background. I'm not a designer or developer, not a native English speaker. I learned to lead through creativity, trust, and relationships.

At Charly, we help companies compete through design and marketing that inspires excellence. 

But beyond that I want to build a community that values truth.

It's a journey. Hopefully one we can do together. 

If this resonates, let's keep the conversation going.

‍

‍